I was actually going to write about something else this evening, but my mum
e-mailed this afternoon and said she wanted to know about the wildlife. I
realised I hadn’t scribbled much on the various creatures that inhabit this
area, a glaring omission indeed. So here in short is the low down on the
various aspects of wildlife here. (Chickens and cows excluded)
I think the real reason I haven’t mentioned anything about the animals here
is that it’s a bit like asking me about modern art. I haven’t got a clue
what I’m supposed to looking for or at! There are birds here of various
shapes and sizes but I haven’t the slightest inkling what they are called.
During the last walk we did I commented on the goats in the clearing next to
us. I was informed they were, actually, sheep. In short you’ve asked the
wrong bloke. But anyway, here goes!
As well can be imagined this is not the sort of place that people come on
safari. I don’t spend large parts of my outreach walks standing on the side
of the road watching open topped Landrover Discoveries with kaki clad
tourists, speed past.
The water situation prohibits and of the big five - Elephants, giraffes (I
can’t remember the other three…. is one of them skunks?) from being here.
The land simply isn’t stable enough to support large numbers of lumbering
animals (Apart from me!). It fails to support human life adequately.
We do a good line in snakes, of the toxic and non-toxic variety and the
clinics sees a fair few bites from both types. Before this the only bite
from an animal on a human I’d ever seen had been a woman who had been bitten
by a squirrel. Curiously we also see a high number of people who have had
snakes spit in their eyes, which I’m told feels like someone has just thrown
boiling water in your face.
However where this area really excels is in the realm of insects. At primary
school this group were referred to as mini beasts. Less of the mini here
sadly. You only need to leave a torch on for a few moments to see swarms of
various different creepy-crawlies congregated round it. As I’m sitting here,
a lamp on the table near me has hundreds of creatures buzzing around it as
if at a rave.
By far the most feared of these are, of course mosquito. Responsible for
more deaths than all wars in history combined the mosquito wreaks havoc
daily. The particular variety here seems to have the ability to treat
repellent as a mild inconvenience and punch through two layers of clothing.
In fact nothing, proves any deterrent at all and you get the feeling they
could probably bite you if you were dressed in a suit of Kevlar.
To say this area has a fly problem is to say George Bush is a slightly
incompetent president. I’ve just about got used to them crawling everywhere
except my face. Maybe in a few months I won’t care about that either. The
local people here seem able to ignore them completely. They adorn the
childrens faces like bizarre jewellery. Occasionally on a walk I’ll swallow
one by accident, which I supposed provides me with some much-needed
sustenance, but isn’t to be recommended if you can avoid it.
The other much feared bug here is the scorpion. Able to punch so far above
their weight it’s laughable, they are a real problem. No bites for me yet
but I’m told when it happens you know about it. Thankfully actual fatalities
are rare, though it does paralyse the limb affected for a while, which can’t
be a pleasant way to spend an afternoon.
The way Iâve found to deal with them is to encourage them to the floor and
place my foot on top of them and then scrape backwards in the manner of an
irritated donkey, they tend not to recover from this method.
Speaking of our sad grey friends, donkeys are also abound in number, though
it’s difficult to work out exactly what they do all day apart from wander
around the place looking melancholy.
And finally the humble gecko, possibly my favourite animal of all time, for
two reasons.
Firstly they eat flies and so in many ways we don’t have a fly problem but a
gecko shortage. Secondly their use of Van-Der Waals theory of atomic
attraction to climb walls and ceilings. Yes, I’d never really thought about
it either.
For those of you unfamiliar (as I was until it was explained to me last
night) it goes as follows. All atoms exert a small amount of attraction on
every other atom. Geckos have microscopically fine hairs on their feet and
an excellent weight for surface ratio meaning they literally stick
themselves to the wall at an atomic level. So that’s one for the pub
tonight.
On that note, the various arachnids that were finding the lamp attractive
are now beginning to congeal around the light from this laptop so it’s time
to leave you to type gecko into Google and see if I’m right.
